Irish or English

Ireland is the only place I've ever been that had so many accents in such a tiny amount of room. Even if you could understand Galway dialect, that's no garuntee you'll understand Cork. And to be honest, you probably won't understand either anyway. I've got grandparents in Cork and i still don't understand them, even after so many years. It's like you have to learn a whole other language to live in Ireland between the "Gowanyabuya!" at the GAA matches, to learning the volcbulary "savage," and "legend". I could not believe my ears.
Not saying that i haven't adjusted, I think I've done quite well, picked up a few phrases or two of my own, but I can't imagine the transfer students coming to learn english here. They've learned every correct use of the grammer, every proper punctuation, every adjective in its own context, and they're suddenly thrown into a shower of, "That's so legd," and "Feckin Hell,". I can't even start to imagine how complicated it must seem to them. It's like Ireland has taken english and made it have a whole new meaning, and it's not even like it's the language Irish (cause no one seems to speak it as far as i can see accpeting when my friends are forced to learn verbs and the appliances in the kitchen).
"What are ya on about?" that's another one that I've taken to. "What's the Craiq?" often used as well. Someone should write a guide to the Irish English language.

Where are all the Italians?

So i went to Italy about a week ago for vacation. It was so gorgous there. we stayed in a smaller town called Lucca, one of the old forts with huge red brick walls surrounding it and the only way in or out is through the large arch gates. The buildings rose so high above us down every little pedestrianised street that sometimes you couldn't even see the sun over the rooves of the houses. I, being also an artist, got some amazing pictures done of the yellow washed buildings and that rusty orange coloured churches. It was so beauiful. The only problem was the open sewage line that ran around the outside of the walls. Really quite a revolting smell.
And as i was soaking in all this beauty, i suddenly realised, wait a second, I'm walking around looking at all the acient italian buildings that have stood hundreds of years, I'm being wowed by St. Mark's Square of Seina, The Baptistery, the Leaning Tower of Pesia, and i haven't seen a single italian resident. i mean, I've seen tourists from Germany, Spanish teens gawking at old statues, but I don't have a clue what Italy today is even really like. I sure as hell know what was going on like a hundred years ago, but who knows what a really italian looks like anymore? i know what german tourists look like, but where are the hot italian men? sometimes i wondered what Italy looks like from someone who actually lives here, cause obviously they're not trapsing across Venice, so where exactly have they gone?
Then i realised, hang on, if i'm over here looking at thier cathedrals, then they're over in Ireland watching us too. And its true. when i came back the population of Galway had changed from pale white, socks and sandals irishmen, to tan skinned, forgien teenagers, jabbering away in languages we can't quite understand. Every summer, both countries empty of thier own citizens and fill with those of others.